10 Sex Myths You Should Ignore

Dogs see only in black and white. Popping your knuckles causes arthritis. Lightning never strikes the same place twice.

Most myths are harmless, even amusing.

But when it comes to intimacy, myths can do more than mislead—they can create unnecessary pressure, prevent meaningful connection, and leave us feeling like something is missing. At best, they hold us back from discovering true fulfillment; at worst, they lead us down paths that make the journey to joy and connection more difficult.

So, let’s bust a few of these intimacy myths once and for all.

In this post, I’m debunking 10 myths that stand between you and a fulfilling, joyful, and multi-dimensional intimate life. These aren’t just theories; they’re lessons I’ve learned from personal experience, as well as from working with individuals and couples to help them reconnect emotionally, physically, and sexually.

Myth #1: Great Intimacy Happens Naturally

There’s a belief that if you’re with the right partner, intimacy should flow effortlessly, as though passion alone will sustain a lifelong connection. I once believed this too.

The truth is, while chemistry is a powerful force, long-term intimacy requires intention, effort, and care. Needs and desires evolve over time, and so does the relationship itself. What worked in the early stages won’t necessarily work years later.

To nurture intimacy, you need to keep showing up for each other—by communicating, making time for connection, and staying curious about your partner. Intimacy isn’t a one-time achievement; it’s an ongoing practice.

Myth #2: It’s All About Physical Techniques

I can’t tell you how often people think a fulfilling sex life is about mastering certain techniques or trying new moves in the bedroom. While exploration can be fun, the truth is that emotional intimacy lays the foundation for deep physical connection.

I’ve seen this firsthand. Couples I’ve worked with often report that their best physical moments come when they feel truly seen, heard, and valued. Vulnerability, trust, and emotional closeness aren’t just “nice-to-haves”—they’re essential.

Myth #3: Frequency Equals Fulfillment

There’s a persistent myth that having sex more often automatically means a better sex life. For years, I thought the same—until I realised that quality matters far more than quantity.

Whether intimacy happens daily or once a month, what’s important is that it feels meaningful, pleasurable, and satisfying for both partners. When we focus on connection rather than a number, intimacy becomes something we truly enjoy rather than a chore to check off a list.

Read the rest of the myths on my Substack Newsletter.